The ... PrinCesS ... Of ... ForesTs ... !!!

Every Memory iS a SiGn ..... ThaT DefeniTly Once U Were Mine ... I'll Carry U iN My HearT and HolD U iN My MinD, Where U Can Be SaFe ... AwaY From PeoPle's OpiniOns, and WhaT's WronG and WhaT's RiGhT, AwaY From The No0ns Sun RaYs, and The ColD Of The NiGhT, AwaY From ChilDreN's FinGer PrinTs, and PeoPle eYes SiGhT ........ !!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Yesterday they were here…where did they go today??


Yesterday, I was there with them..
We were laughing, playing or even fighting
Then when it was time to go to sleep
I said goodbye to them, and promised to meet tomorrow
Just to continue what we had been doing
And when I woke up. I didn't find them here
They just were gone..
I kept screaming…WHERE ARE YOU??
But still didn't hear any answer
They were a page in my life book...Which I turned over
Don't know why they went...But I know they're not here now
Some are just names, and some I don't remember
Some are just faded with the dust of the past
I knew them very well...And shared a good or even bad memories with
All I want to know now is are they still alive??, maybe not
And if they're happy about what they got
If they're feeling pain
And'll we ever meet again??
Do they still remembering me, and our times
When we did good things...as well as crimes
I still have their pictures, voices and stories on my head
I just want to ask about them for a last time
For the memory of us…Once in a life time

***********************************
Razan al-Fatih & her sister Shahd
/ -Shaza & Nada (the twins) & their cousin Leila
-Ahmed nabeel /
-Ahmed abd-almonem
-Yakeen (don't really remember her full name, but still have the memory when she told the teachers about me, I still hate her so much)
-Teacher Najat (of Arabic) she caught me with my crime
-Teacher Mona (of English)
-Mohammed Awad (my cousin who died in a car accident. I was about 3 years old then or maybe older a little) /
-Iman Sami (my baby cousin who died also, but its better for her I guess as she wasn't a healthy child)
-The Elephant in the zoo I used to take fruits to every Thursday, they took it away
-Yassmeen (my Egyptian friend from the club, still remember the day she was leaving, our goodbye was hard on us both, she went back to Egypt, and never heard of her again)
***[Those last seen @ 1996…When I was 5 years old]
-Huda (my crazy Egyptian friend, she told me once a story about how the bats "wa6awee5" ate her baby brother, I still remember that I didn't sleep that night, she scared the hell out of me,haha)
-Teacher Al-Hade (of science)
-Razan al-fatih
/ -Mohamed Ismail
-Mayada (really can't remember her full name, But still have the memory when we were playing with disks during the class and fell down…really the teacher knew what to do about us)
***[Those last seen @ 2000…When I was @ class 4]
-The 2 brothers whom lost their mother, Guess Omer & Osman (can't really remember, but they used to come and play with me, till one day their step-mother took them away)
-That guy I had a crush on @ the club, heard he's been to Jail cause of a drugs issue) / -That blonde orphan who was living with aunt Magdolin (he always makes me cry when I see him)
*** [Last seen @ 2001...class 5]
-Ahd Mahmud
-Hamza (that cute boy, really where is he??)
-My chickens (Guess James our servant ate them)
***[Those last seen @ 2002…When I was in class 6]
-Mohammed Adil (last time in 2003 when he went to U.S.A and never came back)
-Tahany al-Naeem (I loved this girl so much) /
-Mahasin seaf
-Rayan motasim
- Teacher Yousif (the best man on the world))
-Hindi (Ana 9'ab??)
-The 2 sweet brothers in the bus.
-Shams al9aba7 (ma friend's grandma-no need for names)
-Pepsi man (A guy called Ibrahim)
***[Those last seen @ april.2004, by the end of 8'Th class]
-My Grandfather Al-sir [August.2004]
-My Grandmother Huda [April.2005]
-Yousra (my stinky neighbor in grade 1)
-Zainab al-Rasheed (another side by side stinky neighbor in grade 2) /
-3'ofran / -Nidaal / -Tabarak / -Sitana abo al-Gasim
-Namarik / -Skinny Mona / -Randa Yahiya / -Khansaa boraee
-Teacher Tasneem (of math's, the worst teacher I've ever knew, Kant bas moga9dani 3deeeeeeeel kida),)
-Teacher Ahmed (My private physics teacher in grade 2 secondary)
-Arwa & Marwa (eldest twins in grade 3 when I was in 2, had a problem to know which is who, as bardo they're monaqbat...!)
-Iman (the girl who kept calling me sarra, and I didn't correct her, wish if I can tell her my real name now)
-Fat Sali
-Onab Ize aldeen (dad liked this girl, and he kept asking me where is she)
- Teacher Amel (of English, I really liked her, and she did too, why not and I'm the best in her class??!)
-Hanim & Hafsa (my grandmother's cute servants)
***[Last time with those people was the end of grade 2 in 2006.when I transferred from my school)

A Day...


Days...
And some other new ways...
With time,,
I'll prove that what I did wasn't a crime !!
Just B'coz some thoughts were busying my mind...
Never thought that such a lie 'll make me blind...
I don't know when or how..know nothing about
But my heart is strong,,'ll move on no doubt..
It happened in a matter of a day,,
and took no time,,, just to fade away..!!
It's my mistake..can't blame you
B'coz from the start you shouldn't know
A heart I stayed awake just waiting for,,
But after that night I didn't do it any more..!!
B'coz I kept praying all that night..
That when a new day starts,everything 'll be alright..
I had feelings that I never knew..
But no matter how,I forced my self to let go..
I was sure there's a queen in your heart..
But why you told me in the day its getting to start..
The same day I wanted to tell you,,just wondering how..
Found you there screaming "SHE'S WOW"....!!!!!
I might be shocked..but didn't cry...
B'coz I'm the one who believed the lie..
Just it would be a day I'll remember as much as I can..
And maybe one day you'll know that once you were my man..!!!

"بين طيات السحاب"


بين طيات السحاب..دفنته
عدت،، بين صفحات الورق وجدته..
وسيما ساحرا،، بقلب من ورق
لم أعلم ماهو إلا بعد أن تعلمت ألأرق..
كنت طفلة صغيرة..لا أعرف كيف اللعب
رأيته...فتعلمت كيف أحب!!
في تلك الجلسة البرية...ذات مساء
أحسست كأنه القمر،،،هو مصدر ألأضواء
كان في كل شئ رجل...لا بل رجال
أذاق قلبي مرارة الأشواق و الترحال
تساءلت دموعي يوما "أتراه يعود" ؟؟!
بل السؤال...هل حقا هو موجود ؟؟!
هل هو بشر مثلنا.؟.! لا بل ملاك
طبع و نفذ على قلبي حكم الهلاك
جاوبتني الأمطار..و حفيف الشجر
جاوبتني الصحراء..و غياب القمر
جاوبني الليل الحالك،،الزلازل و الأعاصير
و كلهم أجمعوا على حرمة ما يصير...!!
قررت البحث عنه..في كل مكان
سألت عنه الأحياء و الأموات...و خيال الإنسان
أين هو..؟؟ و أين ذهب..؟؟
حتى أصابني اليأس و الملل و التعب
فسمعت صدى صوت...صوت بعيد
كان يبشرني بأن اليوم عيد..!!
URL_REMOVED حقا قد عاد..؟!
أتراه قد علم أن أشواقي في إزدياد..؟!
فصرت أجري،،و أحفر الأرض بحثا
أتلفت حولي و أصرخ جهرا
وجدته أمامي...و ياله من منظر
ماهو و ماذا حدث..و من أي مصدر!!
فصرخ قلبي هناك شئ مريب..
لم يبدو كما عهدته..هذا حقا غريب
أين ذهبت،ماذا حدث،ماذا فعلت..؟؟
أجب عن أسئلتي،،،ماذا إنتظرت..؟؟
فإذا بدمعة تنساب على خديه
كانت جوابه..و ألألم باد عليه
كيف؟؟..هل حقا قد غدر؟؟
فردت علي السماء بأنه في خطر..
لقد تبع هواه..و أغوته الشياطين
لقد نازع ضميره..و كذب الحنين
لقد أغوى نساء الأرض..و حور السماء
و قد ظن أنه ملك..حتى هذا المساء
فقد كن يذبن عشقا من نظرة عينيه
و قتلت نصفهن كلمة "أحبك" من بين شفتيه
و لم تمت البقية إلا لأنهن
إما طرش..أو عميان أظنهن
إذا لماذا قد عاد بعد فوات الأوان؟؟
بعد أن مات قلبي،،و دخلت مدن الأحزان؟؟
هاهو قد عاد و قد حكم عليه
بالموت المؤبد،،،و كبلت يديه
قد أخد يصرخ و يستجدي،،و لكن من هناك؟؟!
من غيري ليحميه من سياط الهلاك...!!
و لكني قد شلت يداي..وقت تنفيذ الحكم
أيقتلني و أجعله يعيش؟؟! يالهذا الظلم
و لكني لم أنس يوما كوننا أحباب...
و كملاك يعود لوطنه..دفنته بين السحاب!!!
"ننتهي لنعود من جديد

الوداع


دا خوف ولا برد...؟
ما قادرة افهم هذه المسألة
جسمك ينزل تحت الأرض
و روحك تطلع فوق السما
ما بكفر ولا شي
بس قالقاني الحاجة دي
العشت بقلبو سنين
قاعد يتغمس جوا الطين
ما تخاف عتمة القبور
روحك حتضوى نور
حأحفر حولك سور
حأكون حارسة القبور
يوم الغبت القمر غاب
ختو فوقك أكوام تراب
كانو لى قلبي أكوام عذاب
وشك أبيض مافيو لون
و هو الكان مفتح ورد
يدك باردة زى التلج
و هي الكانت بتاخد البرد
وحياتك حيجى اليوم
نطلع فيهو أنا و أنت فوق
على دنيا ما بعدا دنيا
و أسألك إيه رأيك فيا..؟!
و تقول ليا بحبك...و تقول ليا بحبك
بحبك أنا لى سابع سما

يا عزيزي


لماذا كل هذا الخوف...يا عزيزي

لماذا الدموع و الحزن يا عزيزي ؟؟

اني انسانة أحس و أشعر

مخلوقة لأنسى و أذكر

اني مثل باقي النساء...أحب و أعشق

اني معك الان فلا تقلق

*****************
لقد رأيت مابك قبل أن تراه

و عشت بدونك أسوأ حياة

انتظرت بصبر متى تتكلم

و اني أموت كلما رأيتك تتألم

أرى عيناك ترجواني أن أعفو

أراهما حولي و أمالك تخبو

أحس بخوفك مني و من حبي

أتريد المزيد ؟؟...ألا يكفيك قلبي ؟؟

كلما لامست يدي يداك

كلما نظرت لعيناك

اني أسمع قلبي يرد عليك

بل أسمعه يصرخ..."خذني اليك

و لكنه يتحطم ألف مرة

عندما يرى انهمار دموعك المرة

و قبل أن أهم بمسحها من عليك

تسابقني اليها يديك

و أراك تركض بعيدا بعيد

لتحفي ألمك الشديد

**************
و لكن لماذا...؟؟

هل جربت اخباري بهذا...؟؟؟

هل حاولت مرة النظر في عيني...؟؟؟

هل أحسست يوما بلمسات يدي...؟؟؟

هل زرتني مرة في الأحلام ؟؟؟؟

لا مستحيل...لأني لا أنام

أقضي ليلي مع القمر المنير

أشكيك له..و ما فعلت بقلبي الصغير

أوتعلم ما كان جوابه لكل سؤال...؟؟؟

أنك دائما تقول ما لم يقال

أخبرني أنك تناجيه ليلا

تشكو بعدي له...و ترجوه خيرا

فيالسخرية القدر

عاشقان...وسطهما القمر

****************
فقط أخبرني أين أنت...و أين مكانك

سأنتظرك مهما قد طال زمانك

اني أريد أن أكون معك

قلها الأن...اني أسمعك

أتظن أن حياتي تسوى بلاك...؟؟؟

لا يا عزيزي...فروحي فداك

كن معي...و لا تحف مني

اني أحبك فلا تبتعد عني

****************

While I'm Still Awake...!!


It's almost 3 am...and I'm still awake..

Thinking if I made a big mistake..

But believe me I don't mean to drag it on

Just it seems to me that I'll be alone..

I learned how to be strong...I wont cry

All I'm trying to do is figure out "Why"..??

You were a devil in a shape of a man..

Taught me how to believe in love...never thought I can

But I've always knew it deep inside..

It was so clear on your face...However you try to hide

I know why you are here...and what are you trying to do..!!

Why you are doing this...and instead of who..

You kept mentioning him every time...In every call..

You was trying to get me hurt again...That's all..

I should never believe what you said bout you are a grown up man..

And all that you wanted to do is finding your own woman..

And how you put that clear,,,that I'm your one..

You said it immediately...That's not how it's being done..!!

No introductions...No pre-act..

But you knew I wouldn't refuse it...In fact

I said cheer up girl...here's a true story again..

And my heart kept saying "Remember that pain"..

I tried to ignore it...Although I knew its going to come..

But I said if I didn't get it all,,I'm ok with some..

Deep inside I started to get attached to you..

And my heart clouding believe that I'm doing so..

How can I forget it...And close that book..

You reminded me of him...his laugh,his touch,his look..

His way of expressing love...And being mad..

Also his way in leaving me...doing it bad..

You were like a copy of my own Jack..

Giving me a new way to make sure he wont come back..

I'm not ashamed of what I did...Not even proud..

It was just a way to let me think about..

About how much I'm stupid...And easy to fall..

And how I'm so emotional...To not realize that all..

I can say that I loved love...And loved to try..

But really why I'm chasing what leads me to cry..??

I know I've a lot of feelings that I'm ready to give..

But I can't find my true story...Which is going forever to live..

My true man...My honest prince..

With a magical look...Falls and forever since..

After all...You were a very good end..

To my colorful hope and dreams...Goodbye my friend..

Thanks a lot for killing a rose was just on its way to grow..

As you showed it there's no reason to do so..

No reason to live...Life is so ugly and black..

Controlling it's life just for your own sack..

----------

And I'm still awake...Thinking of that..

I discovered that love is something I don't understand..

I don't know when it started...And when I'll get through..

But believe me boy...One day I'll be over you..!!!

Stupid Rose...(2)


Stupid Rose...Why you cry ??

He might be honest...May Jack didn't lie..!!

You wish if you knew...If he said Goodbye..

But you woke up to find he's not there...and it hurts to die..

And now its all over...He's gone..

You can't do anything after its all done..

You wish If you can forget all what you faced..

But darling...destiny can't be replaced..

Now in this hot summer...Under the sun's ray..

It's all so quite...Like a perfect sunday..

You sitting inside your forest...In that corner there..

Under that huge tree...Wishing If he could be here..

Every creature saw you kept wondering...What's going on..??

They don't know how much you're afraid...don't want to die alone..

Stupid Rose...You lost him,,no more thinking..

Don't know If it's braveness or stupidity to watch him die...Watch him sinking..

Now your dear Jack is so far away..

You realized that when you stared at the empty space one day..

And all you did was to go away...What a stupid girl..

Kept holding on a stupid necklace...With an ugly pearl..

How come you're the rich one...and he's the poor man..

I'd put him in a leathered chair covered with gold...If I can..

He so worth it...Worth your pain..

Any way it's so clear that he wont come back again..

Stupid Rose..(1)


I've never seen someone so stupid like you

Stupid Rose...you're in everything you do..

You miss him to death...Why you didn't say..??

We all know he's dead,,in a different way

In the way that he still alive in your heart..

But why you let it happen from the start..??

Should you fall in his love on that day..??

Wish if you were a little brave to beg him to stay

Stupid Rose...Why you got inside the Titanic..??

And even though,,Why you fell to his magic..??

None can be him..none can love you like Jack

You were his queen..Wishing if he could come back..?

Then why you didn't pull him out if you dare..!!

Or just why you didn't die with him if you care..!!

You kept shaking and begging "Please don't die"

Uh...at least why you didn't even try..??!!

Why you never pull him close and hug him tight..?!

He's your Jack..your life's light

Now you gonna live whole your life in the dark

You worth nothing without him,A dead Rose in a park

It was the beginning of the end when it started to move

Titanic the ugly ship,You killed the most beautiful love

Why..Should you really hit that piece of snow..???

Just if you could see 'em inside..you'd know

I just wonder why life is so hard as it does..?!

Everything was against Jack..and Stupid Rose..!!

My Life..


I wake up everyday..
So stressed and depressed in anyway..
Feeling bad in any part..
Guilty is eating my heart..
After washing and doing what people do..
I try to pray..but can't do so..
Cause every time I think I'm facing God..
I feel so ashamed of my self..like I'm not made of mud..
I say to myself may tomorrow 'll be better..
But inside I know that means never..
I dress up quickly and go to say hi..
to my parents,,also that'd be a goodbye..
My father gives me a ride..what a gentleman..
I'd reply his favors,,If I can..
I go to my college..and sit to remember
alone in that cool winter of december..
Some minutes later,people start to show..
Everyone try to be cool..what a jerks that I know..
Some chatting and laughing before the lecture begins..
and I thank god when the bell rings..
Doing my best to understand what the teacher is talking about..
But after any word he says..I feel a big doubt..
After sleeping a little..& answering some calls..
I feel in danger,,but no one to catch me in my many falls..
At the end he remind us of next week test..
I say to my self fine,,gonna try doing my best..
But I know nothing,,I don't even have a book..
But it's alright..I'll find when I look..
Collect my friends..then the journey begins..
to other college for breakfast..and other things..
While buying and waiting for the delivery to come
Many people gather around..I only know some..
Bring their chairs,,sitting to chat..
Strange personalties..some'r idiots with a hat..
Different faces,colors, tastes and sizes..
Then when our meal comes..each poke their eyes..
They got used to it as I could see..
By a fake invitation to join us from me..
They all jump on our food like waiting a chance to..
I try to keep fighting..when I couldn't I just go..
With a teary eyes,,not cause I'm hungry..
But cause life and people..that's why I'm angry..
Walking alone,hands in pockets,head leaning down..
Many thoughts pass my head..guess I'll leave this town..
Then suddenly,from no where..that angel shows up smiling..
So sweet and handsome,showing his effort in styling..
Then my whole day flip 180..what a magic he has on me..
Just think he's the reason I want my life to be..

CRIME..!


I knew its impossible..
At the first time I knew its possible..
It's something hard to get...
and when you do,,its difficult to forget...
Something get suddenly in our hearts..
Leading us to break in 1000 parts..
Taking control of your mind and soul...
No No,,,,taking control of you all...
Who are they...it never depend..
Any way it takes you to the corner of the end..
It makes you like a crazy man...
who is trying to fly,,though he knows he never can...
Leads your heart to beat so fast..
Maybe causing your death at last..
I don't know why or what all it's about...
It's not a usefull thing,,,and we can't live without...
When you see them you are just a foam..
and you wont sleep that night at home..
All your dreams will be about you both together...
But after its too late,,,you'll be alone forever...
And you have to live your life with a heart break..
although you are sure its not your mistake..
It's all on you,,a major waste of time...
Any way,,after all,,I think love is a sort of crime...!!!

من أكون..؟؟


نظر إلي...و بعينين حائرتين
سألني..من أكون.. !!
أولا تعرفني.. ؟؟،يامن أوصلني حد الجنون؟
يامن جعلني أعيش في دنيا ألأوهام
ولم يكف عن زيارتي في المنام...في كل الأحلام
و علمني سحر كلام العيون !
إني السماء في وسعها...و وكار الطيور
إني العشق في ذاته...من حب و فتور
إني مالم تعرفه عن الحياة و القرون
إني من إحتوتك في قلبها...و علمتك الحنين
و من أرضعتك من عشقها..بمرور السنين
إني من كل الألوان و الأشكال و الفنون!
إني صوت تغريد البلابل..و الفيضانات و الزلازل
بل إني الطاقة ألأبدية..بلا موصل أو عازل
إني ملاكك الحارس...و القلب الحنون!
أوتظل تسألني ؟..ألم تعرف من أكون..؟!
إني التي تمنتك...و أحبت كبريائك
إني التي تحملت غرورك...و أشكال عنادك
إني الروح الحاوية...و الجسد الذي بك مسكون!
و لست أبدا ناسية...بل دارية بما سيكون
إني جريحة هذا العصر...وليدة تلك السنون
معاشرة كل الخلائق...و أهل السجون
إني حياتك يا عمري...مالكة الأشجار و الغصون
و لكن حقا سؤال يراودني..>> فمن أكون ؟

Two lines..


Ding..Ding..Ding
I heard the ring,,
Tik..Tik..Tok
you went to take a look,,
Crak..Crak..Crok
You did the door's unlock,,
Blah..Blah..Blah
heard you talking with someone,,then "MUWAH"
"I miss you so much baby"..her voice said
"Me too honey"..you replied
"Come in,,it's cold out side",,you added
Tok..Tok..Tok,she came..then you chatted
Chooor..Blowmb..Blowmb
you put the ice,,then "here's your cup"
"Oh nice,,you made that??""
You said "sure,,just for you",,I couldn't understand
I made it for you,not for her!!
You added " you saw my new car"??
CAR??,,thought you have a bike!!
you said "ya,,the same one that you like"...
"Really??,,can I take a look??"
you said "Sure",,then heard the doors lock..
You said "wait a minute baby,,I wanna make a call"..
I heard your gasp.then saw the duration of the call...!!

My Dove..


My heart is in love..??????
how is that my little dove..??????
It promised never to miss..
never 'll beat for someone else..
I saw it my self locking the door..
and I'm sure it said "No love any more"..
My darling..how come is that..???????
I just can't understand..
Who is he..and what he's trying to do..??
what's his shape like,,tell me do you know..??
********
Baby dove please deliver my letter..
tell my heart never do like the past times,,and treat him better..
Say "you are not made of glass,,he can't break you"..
but still be awake,,watch whatever he is trying to do..
Just tell the truth,,never be shy..
don't keep looking at the time he say good bye..
Tell it although it broke our deal..I'm not mad..
but forgetting our big love 'll make me sad..
Remind my heart that he always has a place inside..
where he can feel safe,warm..where he can hide..
Baby dove..just tell my heart finally I say good bye..
and it should use my steps..or again it 'll lead me to cry..!!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

<

I Hate..






















There's so much things I love in life..


But the most are the things I dont like..


I hate to be treated like invisible..


I hate when they don't care,,while it's unbelievable..


I hate to be so wrong when they are so right..


I hate the fact that I miss you every night..


I hate when guys always lie..


and when they pretend from the love they will die..


I hate when I see you passing through..


and when my eyes can't get enough of you..


I hate when I'm the only one to blame..


I hate when they treat me like I have done a shame..


I hate every new year's eve when I pray.


.and when I don't commet with a word I say..


I hate when every body looks at me..


and you pretend like you can't see..


I hate when I fake my feelings..


and when I hear words I don't know their meanings..


I hate to be their little spoiled one..


and when I'm punished for things I've never done..


And there's something I hate too..


It's the fact that I'm still in love with you..!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Guys******__________


I thought guys are all bad..

I thought all want to make me mad..

But since I add a new page to my life..

I killed all my old ideas with a knief..

Man..how could a girl like me live without them..??

How can I start a day without looking at him..??

How can I enjoy eating unless they surrounded me..

Love to feel like I'm a little drope in a sea..

How can I sleep peacefully unless they were in my dream..

Imagining my self with one of them having an ice cream

How can I smile unless I heard them jocking..

How could my heart be opend again unless they were knocking..

How could I know what the smell of roses and fruit..

Unless I was close enough to smell the perfums they put..

And how could I be alive and survive..

Unless they were in my life..!!

So cool to look and keep looking.........all the day..

Trying to find who is Mr.perfect in any way..

Some are cool with what they wear..

Some are spicial with a head so bair..

Some are tall with a shorten pants..

Some are cute with a soften hands..

Some are romantic with a face of a child..

And some are dangerouse..so wild..

Some are funny making you smile..

Some are clever..always holding a book or a file..

Some are dumb but so fine..

And some exhusted to be mine..

Some are wise want to make me straight..

Some are lazy always coming late..

Some are so proud of themselves..

And some are so good to put on a shelf..

Some are rich..and some are poor..

But always seeing them makes me want more..

Everyone is special..in a defferent way..

But all are cool..if you could say

There's something strange..if you could realize..

I really like all kinds of guys..!!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The story**


All I have in this world is a body..& a broken heart

All I'm is a remaining of a human been cut in 1000 part

And the story didn't even end

However I'm gonna apologize or spend

It wont be finished by a love inside me need to be alive

a love I dreamed to be true..for that I survive

And now I only know..that its written on my face

that the past wont be forgetten..& what happened wont be replaced

It was a story..I lived in with all I could..everyday

but time didn't like this..& I have to obay

To let it go..never had a chance for a good bye

And it doesn't matter if I'll live after or die

it doesn't matter if I'm still chasing..cause it faded away

I was a fool to believe..now it's time to pay

********************************************

A story of a dead jack..is always there..is always behind

I can't get or even let..it's blooing my mind

A story of a black rose..throughed in the graveyard alone

It can't be alive..or even make the love dead..all is gone

********************************************

I wonder why ever your ghost visit me one day

sometimes while I'm awake..I've much to say

You 'll take about my situation a quize

I'll be like dead..you'll realize

You are so spicial..the happiness of omdurman

I'm so sick..can't our hearts be together??..may they can!!

And the story didn't end

Even by a drown ship in the ocean..titanic I meant

It still going on..may no one can see

but it's still so clear..by the side of me..!!

Friday, May 23, 2008

When Jack was back..


Many years went..
a lot of time I spent
Thought that could heal my pain
then I wont love again
I walked many years alone
Heard people of my own
And now I just met you..
You did your best to let it show
You still caring about your own sack
And want to come back..!!
Finally now I got you
my whole dreams came true
I still cant believe it
its so strange..maybe a little bit
I kept wondering how come is that
How can it all go bad
I asked you to explain..
why are you back..the reason,the mean
I couldn't believe my lovely jack..
now is back..!!
I started to break the built
when happiness took me to the end
I thought too much about
then my love was killed by my doubt
I couldn't see how was that so sweet
My heart stopped the beat..!!
I spent whole life loving without you
and it just disappeared when I got you
I spent years can't forget
I really shocked cause now I can let
You said you can get any girl to love you
but you 'll never find someone loves you as I do
You felt proud to find who cares
and really thought I want to share
But never imagined your love which is in my heart
is the reason why I want us to be apart
I stopped our charming cry
and fainally we understood why
We were tired of playing each others game
our future 'll never be the same
We couldnt find the right words to tell
then you wished I go to hell
Everyone knew something was wrong
we never looked such strong
Then we told the truth when we could speak
our love is gone..we are no more weak
We fought like enimeis..I never looked to your eyes
Then my bad words lead me to apologize
But my heart is still like a stone
and now you are gone......
Baby Jack___________
Our love is the best
under shoe all the rest
Although it hurts to see you go
but I wont stop you this time you know
May one day I pass your way
On a calm moony day
Then I recognize you
and when you see me you know
In a minute of time..life takes us away
We remember all we wanted to say
Then no matter how we miss
we know nothing desirve our kiss
So a quick turning away 'll be done
and again forever like we are gone
Cause now we are a part of life
where we learned how to survive..!!

_____________For a memory of a week,in a life time_______________

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Long Ago....--------________


Any sweet love words remind me of you..

And I cared about you....Long ago!

I remember every whisper and touch and they are sweet by you..

And I hope you could see....Long ago!

My dear who told you that I cant forget about you??..

Days and nights I lived just for you....Long ago!

But I promise if you going to come back I will love you..

And I wondered would you remember me too....Long ago!

I tried to tell you how I still need you..

But Im so weak you knew....Long ago!

Come to me and let me be with you..

I dreamed of you and your eyes....Long ago!

You know I love when Im beside you..

Its like the world disapeared between me and you....Long ago!

Always on my mind,and time killed me and you..

You knew I need you....Long ago!

Do you remember when my eyes speak to you??..

And my jealousy on you....Long ago!

Im just dreamig of the day when I can see you..

But your sack is all what I cared about....Long ago!

Whatever happens jack,how much Im gonna need you..

I knew its imposible to get you again....Long ago!


Thursday, March 20, 2008

What If ???


What if I was a different girl which you like..??
What if I learned how to ride a bike..??
What if I didn't ignore you or feel shy..??
What if I always shake your hands with a "HI"..??
What if I didn't listen to a word they say..??
What if I called you at home everyday..??
What if I could tell you for all you did "THANK YOU"..??
What if I replied you once with "LOVE YOU TOO"..??
What if I didn't let 4 years pass us through..??
What if I told you I really care about you..??
What if I faced you with the truth that I hate your family..??
and that I talk with your brothers daily..??
What if I could explain I did all of that just for you..??
What if you could forgive me and I forgive you..??
What if I told you that I know about your cheating..??
and that I knew this girl will leave you bleeding..??
and that I'm so mad about that..??
What if I told about us my mum and dad..??
What if I was looking like the one who took your heart..??
What if I fought with whoever want us to be apart..??
What if I could tell you in front of all the world "I LOVE YOU"..??
What if we had a chance to make our dreams come true..??
What if I didn't tell lies to all of our friends..??
What if we could go a little over that fence..??
What if I didn't ask you all that silly questions that you hate..??
and be just happy for our progress instead..??
What if you could read my last letter..??
What if the world understood us better..??
What if we didn't have to let her involved..??
and if we could work together getting all the problems solved..??
What if you could give me a chance..??
What if we could meet at your sister's wedding and go to dance..??
What if you could let go with all your fears..??
What if I could be the one who stop your tears..??
What if you could tell me what's up with you..??
What if you could tell me all the bad stuff about me which you knew..??
What if I didn't fight with your cousin..??
and if you knew the truth and what happened..??
What if we could open a new page in our life..??
and if you believed if we did that we can survive..??
What if people could just care about their own..??
and if I haven't forever to be alone..??
What if you stayed jack and I stayed rose..??
What if you never believed that she can be your boss..??
What if you told me I don't want to loose..??
and if I told you that you are the one which my heart choose..??

Then you'd be still there for me
A real lovers which all the world could see
We'd be for each other forever
Jacky..we'd always be together!!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

I Miss You..


When I lay back at night
and I turn off my orange light
Then right before I close my eyes
it comes to my mind to realize
that I'm the reason why you went
and what I said I didnt meant
I know you wont come back to me
but i wish if you just could see
I know I have done you a wrong
but baby I thought our love is strong
Nothing can worth what we had
and I can love you more than that
I know you wont come back
you really made this time and left me...jack
But why I cant do anything or say
to let you know I regret that everyday
I know you hated my doubts and questions
but baby..we never judge any one by what he mentions
I wanted to show you that I need you here
you were my every thing..my dear
I know that I'm out of your heart..and that's is fine
hope you know forever you are in mine
I just miss you..
I miss you baby so much
I miss your eyes and touch
I miss your whisper and smile,too
I miss the perfume you used to put on you
I miss the way you put your hands in your pockets as you walk
I miss the way you wave your lips as you talk
I miss the way you suck your pen as you think
I miss the way you put your legs as you drink
I just realized from what I said
I miss so much..and will do..till I'm dead

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Unknown Soliders...


Sometimes...

Some people..,

they may come to your life..and go so quickly

fixing all your problems..

helping you without even you know..

just like a cool breeze..in a spring dayz..

passes you in minute..in which you feel happy

and fresh in your whole body..

Then you may feel like your own the wrold between your hands..

in that minute it passed you on..

but after its gone..

everything will get back to what it was on..

Then may one day...if the weather start getting hotter..

you may remember them..and wish if they can come back again..

and may you do your best to get them back..

just as this cool breeze as those cool people..

And one day..people should give their fevors back...!!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Destiny




He wants me to describe him to you...


and here I'm going to let you know...


Handsome...Gentel..like a wave he moves..,


Has got an angel eyes take you wherever he loves

His sweet smile...like the morning smiles to you


His voice...His singing...like a bird talks and chat with you


His lovely soul rose me high...and took me slow


But that's not why I loved him...you want know??


When he let me feel something I cant see


His weakness towards me...his missing to me


When I found in his words kindness which made me free


Then his looks called me...they really took me


When I discovered love and passion in his eyes


When you are thirsty wait,you will drink from his nights


When he hold you tight taking all your fears


When he whisper a "Good Night"...right in your ears


When you feel safety while you holding his arm


When he take you so close...doing you no harm


I wish if your eyes and heart were in the place of mine


If you could feel what I felt...we can go back in time


Then you may be able to believe me when I say..


He changed my life every second in every day


Its all cause the destiny of me and you


Which made me a belover to him...before you!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Reminiscence



Im living on a reminiscence was between us long ago..


and calling high "where are you"??


Do you know when Im beside you what I feel ??


when Im looking to your eyes what I need to say real ??


....how beautiful is the world when Im with you


Oh,my every thing I love you


Do you remember when we firstly met??


and when you broke what was built...


Can you remember our first call ??


and when you through me into the wall!!


I cant forget how you used to look at me..


and now you really cant recognize me


I miss when you be at morning waiting for me


but now I looked for you every where,and I cant see


I will remember you..till I die


please remember me..and dont let your life pass you by


If it was without memories of me & you..


when you smile at the sun..so beautiful as you do


Im so tired..cant see


standing at the edges of a memory


Every time I see you I want to shout..


babe,there is alot of things you dont know about


I dont want to let go..


just need you to know..


when we are together..


I hope that we never be away,,forever..


I wont gorget you..you are the one I need every
night...


you are my heaven..my worlds light


I want just to die in your arms..to be with you


jack..I really miss you so


I will forever be in pain..


If I didnt be in your arms again,..


And fainally..I just want to say..


that you and I


will never ever die..........



Sunday, January 20, 2008

I Know


Its really sad,but its true

they cant see you as I do

they are always searching for reasons to make you apart

because they never reached your heart

But I Know

When you smile how life be

& how it feels when its just you & me

it doesnt matter what people want to see

I will stay with you as I want..Im free

Because I Know

You are an angel came from the sky

rising all my standers high

I cant tell what changes in my world you have done

so please...dont ask me to pick one

And I Know

When you are stepping where you know your heart is going to be broken

but you never give up..or give a chance to be mistaken

you are made of light to help people go through

just if they could really know you

Also I Know

How when your babe soul is always in pain

and you always make it and smile again

but why when you always being mentioned

they keep saying you are different

but they never knew whats the meaning to be you

and the world treat them as they do

hope if they could once know its not a crime

if you cant be effected by time

They would think again...I Know

If they could find someone like you

they dont see you as I do..

hope they even try to

most of them would turn you away

I dont want you to listen to a word they say

they will think again..I Know

You have got something every one would be killed for

to be a kid for ever and more

never get in troubles..,you are excused too

to be nice with you..everyone have to

Then I Know

May one day I pass you through

then may my eyes couldnt recognize you

but my heart sure will do

and in your eyes I see every day I spent with you

you never gonna change..but I will do

and in my heart you gonna stay as the same as you

I just know its true

No body is like you


"To my childhood friend,always will be for you"

Saturday, January 19, 2008

What Im Gonna Tell Her????


She wanted me to tell her all my feelings

all my problems and all my seetings



So can I do it and tell her all of that??



about how my life crashed and my broken heart?



How I used to feel pain and cry at night



how I needed him only to stay by my side



how I cant do anything but sit to remember



what happened at that time and what is in december



Howit felt at my first time I fall in love



and when he said "rose,thats enough"



how I wanted to kill him then I said "NO"



cause he is the first and the last I told him I love you



how it was when he first called and she picked up



and how she struggled with us to make us stop



then when I tried to get him back and fix it



with some letters in my bag and she caught it



can I tell her how much I hated her at that time?



cause she made me love like doing a crime



then when I found a chance to meet him and with me she went



and kept looking around like a message not sent



then I began to survive just to forget



so I let all my dreams with him and left



but im needing someone to love insteat I felt



so a friendship with the light brothers was built



oh my God,how they were so sweet



making me looking forward to the days we meet



and I felt I may be loved again



by one of them..which both of their hearts like a rain



making me happy without lying



took my pain and stop me crying



then she came to tell me what her husband did



and how in seconds he broke what I spent years to build



but no I wont give up..wont let them go



they wont leave me like my love..who did so



I will do my best to keep them with me



even if they knew im not like what they can see



I wondered firstly why they stopped replying me



and if they were playing to see who will get me



as dad says "BOYS LIKE FOXES" you cant know their reality



but I knew them well and understood their personality



you are asking how im gonna tell her about that?



I just need some time to work it out



but gonna keep for my self all my past



cause its not usefull at last



and after all I felt from sadness and pain



it seems like I wont love again



and to all whom are waiting to love me...its a lie



its so easy for me to say "HI" then a "GOOD BYE"



and if you wanna be safe from any broken heart



try to let me go..and now you start



cause me with my love are a dreams for you



so go to another who will love you



I was a beautiful rose with all my sharing



trying to make people love me and make them airing



till that jack came and picked me up



and couldint find anyone behind to help



and then came back with my life which crashed



cause I followed his act and splashed



and the similarties between rose and jack



is that again both wont come back!!!!!!!!!!!!



Wednesday, January 16, 2008

TAITANIC

TAITANIC

Your Right...



Jack....


I need you because I dont want you to loose..


I was there infront of your eyes..and you couldnt choose..


But whatever I did..you are my real love..


Which I believe that God sent it to me..from above..


Cause no matter how hard I tried to survive..


I cant live without you in my life..


People are talking about us all the time..


And looking at me like I have done a crime..


They say you are not honest..your love is not true


I tell them beside that Im loving you..


Once...I dreamed about you in a holley night..


You were in a shape of white & strong light..


You kept saying "I need you,dont go"


So I did...why??..I dont know


Now I just compaired that with the reality..


And I found it a dream of a bad quality..


So dear..now I will wait for God to make me forget you..


But till then I will be always behind you..


Never will let anything hurt you or make you sad..


So,if anything happened..or someone treated you bad..


You will know when you wake up to find all is gone..


You will rememeber that what I say is what will be done..


But you dont have to thank me..


You let me fall with you..


So,its just some of your right against me....

Orange and Black


Did you hear it....or should I say again

Are you sure you heard me right??....

cause I will do you no pain

Your eyes had taken me from my world to be with you..

And always my heart pushing me to say "I miss you"..

But my babe soul is afraid from knowing you are not for me..

when nothing can let you stay....you are free!!

But your eyes are a diamond windows of a golden heart..

Always telling mine"we should never be apart"

Baby,you are for my dark life a deep light..

You are the reason I stay awake at night..

I know its really true,when you are so near..

And Im shouting so high.."where are you dear"..

Im afraid that my heart suffers like that again or more..

Then I live all my coming days like that for certain sure..

Who can replace my heart the second I met you..

And what is the taste of life if it became without you..

Can you tell me why my pain for you is nothing..

And days went and Im missing your face every morning..

Days..I dont know why they went so fast..

And im still holding on you ..till die at last....

Just you should know I did my best to fix it..

But its just like orange & black......

you cant mix it!!!!!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Just For U


To my babe....

Whenever you feel lonely,

Whenever you feel sad,

Whenever time hit you roughly,

When people treat you bad,

Wherever you are,

Whenever you feel pain,

When you are in a trouble,

When you think you wont live again,

When people br mean to you,

When darkness want to get you,

When you dont know who,

When you dont know what to do,

When you are confused how to let them know,

When someone loves you just for show,

When your degrees numbers get low,

When you want to do something and you know you cant do so,

When your heart tell you to stay but you go,

When you cant choose one of two,

When you regret something you didnt do,

****

Then when you feel happy,

When you smile,

When you tell a joke,

When you change your style,

When a beautiful girl love you,

When your dream comes true,

When you succeed in your exam,

When you watch a baby grow,

When you sleep peacfully at night,

When you see the morning light,

When you get a new friend,

When you see a star,

When your message be sent,

When your troubles be far,

When you smell a perfam,

When you say sorry,

When you be calm,

When you drive a lorry,

When you see a flower,

When your mum pray for you,

When you take a shower,

When a baby be borned just for you,

When you thank God that you are alive,

When you are near to die and survive........

Just want you to know then Im here for you

To protect you,& love you..

I will always be there,will always love you!!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Im SOrry


Sorry...

Every time I do it..will be sorry

Cause I really used to do it..Im sorry

Baby,every time I look to your eyes I will be so sorry

Boy I used to look to your eyes every time in every day

& I didnt used to hear it when you say..

"Girl why you looking to my eyes Im not yours"

Why...why I cant just to choose??

Cause everytime in everynight I dream about you..

& baby,all that is really true!!

You just give me one chance to fix it.

& I promise you boy you wont regret it

Just give me time to be with you..

& I wont ask you about what or who!!

I will keep my jealousy in my heart..

& I wont let any problem start

I really miss seeing you smiling on my face..

Cause you know for me it cant replace!

I need your love baby..I need you with me

Cause that will give me strength and make me happy

So please dont leave me alone..I beg you dont go..

I really dont know without you what can I do!!

Just forgive me...

for all I have done to you...

Im sorry!!!

Meeting God


Almost every day..I see the same face

on a broken picture tabe..for people in race

If you could see your self..

you put you on a shelf!!

Today I will play the part of none parent..

not making a hundred rules...

for you to know your self

Not lying to make you believe..

whats evil is making love

and making friends..and meeting God!!

You are alone in a way..

the right way..

to see..to bleed..

Cant be taught in turn..

You are pushing us to return!

We stand alone..

The truth in right and wrong

The boundaries of law..

You seem to miss the point..

arresting for a joint??

Why hundreds of people die?

You are writing tickits man

my mum got jumped...,

they ran!!

*******************

Now I will play a public servant.

to serve and protect..,

by the law and the state

I would bust the punks that rape..steal and murder.

and I will leave you to be..

If you crossed me,

I would shake your hand like a man..not a God!

Come meet your maker boy..

some things you cant enjoy

because of heaven and hell..

He is watching..say your prayrs,

because God is everywhere!

**********************

Now I will play a man..

leaving priesthood

who is about to take..

the last test in life!

I would question things..

how can I survve

But when the time come.

I will call my mum

but no one can hear me..

and nothing will make me free!

Thats all what I have done..

and Im the only one!!!