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زيك

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عارف ؟؟ .. أنا برضي ماشة .. و قريب كمان .. زيك ، لكني ما زيك .. !
إستعدادي هادىء ما عنده صوت .. بدون وداع .. ودموع و بدون ووعود .. برااحة براحة .. بلملم حاجاتي .. و بستف فيها .. زيك .. لكني برضي ما زيك !
شنطي ما مليتها هدوم ، و عطور وورق .. أبداً .. مع إنه حاجاتك كتيرة .. بس، أنا شنطي أكبر، و أتقل .. !!

A place called here !

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Starts with a smile, And ends with a goodbye hand shake ! Usually, It goes like this ! He says he’s leaving .. Leaving soon, Leaving the place where I belong, Leaving  here ..
Happily, excitedly, packing, To leave here for good, Forgetting that “here” includes me as well ... !!!
He’s planning, A plan for 1, I don’t fit in his plans .. Not in his future .. I wished him luck .. I crossed my fingers for his dreams to come true .. Seeing those teeth behind his sunshine smile worth a lot, Means so much, I'm ready to sacrifice everything to see it,  Even seeing his face every morning .. !!!
But, it just stroke me that, Perhaps, perhaps,  His dreams can't stretch to contain 2 ..
I told him to fly, High .. and high .. Go fulfill your heart .. Go show them what you’re capable of .. And me, I’ll always cover your back .. I’ll support you, From here .. From this very place that pushed you away, The place that kicked you out, From a place .. Called here !!!!

Red Flags !

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Something is happening .. I can feel it I feel strange, I feel weird .. Heart pumping so fast, A 24 hours wide smile .. I started listening to songs I never imagined liking .. And most of all, I AM HAPPY ! I started to look forward for tomorrow, And many tomorrows to come .. My whole Climate is changed, And it keeps on changing,
Day after day .. For no reason, or maybe there’s some .. I can’t tell .. It’s just happening Happening so fast that I stopped counting, I stopped wondering and thinking, I’m just letting it happen .. Despite all the warnings, The voices in my head that telling me to stop.. I just ignore, I paint all those red flags with different colours, And decide to take the risk, to enjoy it as long as it’s here As long as he’s here .. !!!
I started to wait by the phone, I wait .. and wait, Then my heart skips a beat, once I see his name on my screen .. then, no matter what plans I have, no matter who I’m with… Everything can wait, could be pushed aside .. Because, for a short while, For a limited time…

Horoscope

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It’s the day of mini smiles that warm your heart It’s the day of sweet compliments that make your day counts .. It’s the day when everything makes you grateful, for your own existence ..
And theirs ..

When you look around, reviewing, and all you can see is your life opening up Opening so many doors ..
But, with life remaining busy and so many other distractions you have to deal with ..
You realize, this will never be through ..
In fact, everything has just started ..

Don’t let the temptations drag you their way ..
Don’t go floating alone, away from what really matters ..
and who really matters …
Their time is now ! Soon, you’ll realize the power of “We”..
When “Our” is dragged between “His” and “Mine” ..
Time won’t be your precious property anymore ..
When your all valuable moments should be –happily- awarded to them .. You’re so full of enthusiasm, happiness ..
Your smile will almost tear up your face …
But, you don’t care ..
You’ve made it halfway –successfully- alone ..
You believe in …

و لو من بعد حين

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كوب قهوة،
هاتف ورقم ..
ذكرى وقلم ..
ليل حالك ونجوم خبأها الألم..
ضفائر شعر سودانية.. سجاد ، ووسائد مرمية..
و مسحة غبار منسية..
 نصف قلب ،
و دقائق عابرة ..
لقاء نيلان ،
و دخان سيجارة مطفية ..
ورود ذابلة ،
و جريدة مطوية ..
و فى وسط كل هذا
تحلم هي ..
ليست حزينة
و قطعاً ، ليست وحيدة
فقط ينقصها هو ... !!!
قمرها ساطع ،
و لكن تحجبه سحب ..
صدى الهدوء يكاد يصيبها بالجنون ..
لا يهم اين الجميع ،
المهم أنهم ذهبوا ..
كل ما لديها علبة كبريت صغيرة ..
بها قليل من الذكرى ،
و الكبرياء ..
خربشات على جدران غرفتها
بلغات غير مفهومة ..
رسومات و دموع ..

لا يمكن التعود على شيء
فالكل ما يلبث أن يتغير ..
حتى الحجارة تتكسر ..
و الأضواء يخف بريقها ..
و يذهب هو .. !!
و عود و أعذار ..
كل شئ لديها مؤجل ،
و هي تختار ..
حياة في قائمة الإنتظار ..
أثاث من خشب ،
و بيت من طين ..
نيل ،
و صغار نجوم تائهين ..
 باب موارب ،
طرقه الحنين ..
و خصلات من الشيب ،
تغطي الجبين ..

Story Of My Life !

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To Jack ...

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Dear Jack,
I know I’ve been away for a while, a long while actually, and I’m sorry for that. I guess you are wondering where I am, or what I’ve been doing, or maybe you don’t. I’m writing to tell you that I’m fine and I’ve missed you a big time, I missed everything about you, your hazel eyes and your throaty voice.

I’ve been somewhere far, somewhere where none can actually be, I needed to be alone, I needed to see no one, including your sweet face. I had to think, to explore, to plan and to decide without someone beside me telling me how to do things and what’s best for me, and I believe I succeeded, I succeeded greatly. Only after I came back that I discovered I’ve made a huge mistake; staying alone and away for such a long time, everything was changed, everyone is different, or maybe I’m the one that changed ! 

I can hardly recognize anyone around me, including myself. My life has changed, my friends and dear close people too, they started to seem more selfish, greedy, shallower and …

To Jack, With Love !

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“ Dear Jack,

I’ve been sitting here thinking about all the things I wanted to apologize to you for, all the pain we caused each other, everything I put on you, everything I needed you to be or needed you to say, I’m sorry for that. 
I’ll always love you ‘cause we grew up together and you helped make me who I am.
I just wanted you to know there will be a piece of you in me always, and I’m grateful for that. Whatever someone you become, and wherever you are in the world, I’m sending you love.
You are my friend to the end.
Love,
Rose”

(Send)

~ The One ~

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We all want a soulmate. “The One.”
Your perfect partner who can read your mind and finish your sentences.  We want fate and fireworks. 
But believing in predetermined destiny is limiting.  It leaves little room for adventure and what life may want to give you.  What if The One isn’t who you thought they would be?
Love isn’t always syrupy sweet kisses and walking off into the sunset.  Sometimes the purpose of a soul mate is to tear down your walls, shake you awake, and reveal new parts of yourself.
They become a mirror that exposes new dimensions of you, parts that you may relish in or shrink from.  Soul mates give you the opportunity to notice personal obstacles.   And then actually do something about them.
They can force you to your own leading edge.  To grow.  Expand.  Develop.
But all that emotional fever does not guarantee that they are your life partner.  Often riveting romances grip us in their clutch just to introduce the prospect of ruthless awareness. Introspection.  They make us so loony and…

Memories of a Smile :)

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Flash back (~1~)

Me aged 5, freshly showered and fully dressed into my evening gown, those elegant but homey cloths we usually wear during the evenings, hair perfectly done, homework done, jumping up and down, up and down on the stairs, ignoring my mother's warnings and advice to be careful, excitement overpowering my joy, I was so happy that I could fly, let alone jump   .... IT'S PLAY TIME!

Ignoring all the fuss, screams and tears in the background, didn't drag my attention the amount of tension and worries floating in the air, my grandmother tears, my cousins panic and my uncles angry screams, all I cared about was that here's my cousins all gathered here and perfectly dressed, they don't have any excuse but to PLAY!
Approaching my elder cousin with a very wide and bright smile "Yasmeen, let's play".

Although I could never forget the look in her eyes, but still, up till now I couldn't understand or explain it, very glassy, very pained, very scared …

Fate !

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Sometimes, you just open your eyes and look around you …
Silently,
Everything has changed,
People have grown older,
And uglier,
Their souls began to shrink,
And their hearts are full of wrinkles …
No one is the same anymore...
Or is it you the one who’s changed...
Or maybe nothing’s ever changed, but your blind has just been unfolded … !!!

You look around again,
This time only around yourself,
Rereading your signs... your words,
Your very own empty words,
That you've charted on the surface of your universe...
You can’t figure out why, 
why have you changed, 
why all this weakness that isolate you from everyone... 
You never used to be this way ... !!!
You’re stronger, always been stronger... 
A lioness of your own,
Everything is perfect, absolutely perfect... 
Then why the misery?
What could have possibly been wrong?
You have everything, 
Better than anyone... 
The perfect family, 
The best of best friends and people around you... 
Your own passions and ambitions that keep attracting people around you, more …