Fate !

Sometimes, you just open your eyes and look around you …
Everything has changed,
People have grown older,
And uglier,
Their souls began to shrink,
And their hearts are full of wrinkles …
No one is the same anymore...
Or is it you the one who’s changed...
Or maybe nothing’s ever changed, but your blind has just been unfolded … !!!

You look around again,
This time only around yourself,
Rereading your signs... your words,
Your very own empty words,
That you've charted on the surface of your universe...
You can’t figure out why, 
why have you changed, 
why all this weakness that isolate you from everyone... 
You never used to be this way ... !!!
You’re stronger, always been stronger... 
lioness of your own,
Everything is perfect, absolutely perfect... 
Then why the misery?
What could have possibly been wrong?

You have everything, 
Better than anyone... 
The perfect family, 
The best of best friends and people around you... 
Your own passions and ambitions that keep attracting people around you, more and more, day by day.

You never allowed anyone to see this side of you, even on the rare occasions that it happened... 

None ever known you as weak, needy or shattered...
Then why now? 
What’s wrong? 
What’s new?
You have dreams to pursuit... 
You know and very sure that you’re not there yet, 
You’re almost there, halfway there, halfway on your first step towards the first catch...
You can see your dreams in front of you, glistening, sparking, calling you, yeeeessss, you’re here, and they’re there... 
Only a stretch of an arm far, only this far... !!!

You started believing that you have had them already,
Dreaming of success, achievements and luck... 
Yes, you believed that you’re lucky, 
That you have everything...
But how possible when you haven’t yet stretched your arm, you didn't even move a muscle... 
Why sleeping, why satisfying and why celebrating??

It’s like the poor man who wanted to marry the princess, a daughter of a very mean and greedy king, he dreamed about this for years and years... and mostly dreamed about it happening, and the joy after, that he already started talking about it, telling the whole village that he’s going to marry the princess... he kept saying he’s ready, his family approved, he has his own house and everything is settled, ONLY that the princess and her father still don't know.

You, my dear child, doing the same... you have already made your wedding ceremony, without the groom... !!!

What groom?
Who said anything about a groom? 
I don’t need any, I don’t see any, and of course, I don’t believe in any.
Grooms are like fairytales; 
we know and hear about them all the times, 
but we never find.
I am not talking about any groom,
Of course, you can have any man you wish for... 
You already have tried many, so many of them who have appealed suitable... suitable men for you, they matched your criteria physically, but never mentally .. 
You could never find that one who can understand your needs, who can read your thoughts and fulfill your dreams, making you a whole without even saying a word.
They are all shallow, greedy, naughty and young... yes, mentally immature! 
And this annoys the hell out of you... !!

Him leaving without a goodbye annoys the hell out of you the most...
He just decided to leave, his family, perfect job and his bunch of stupid friends, everything ..
He murmured something about leaving, about being so suffocated in this place that he can barely breath his dreams out, 
He said he hates this place, he wants to breakthrough and fly .. Fly away!
Despite the fact that he’s very much aware of how much this place means to you, and how you will never leave it... 
He said he wants to leave here, while here includes you!

He asked for a goodbye... a proper goodbye... 
But, you couldn't.
Not only because you hate goodbyes, 

but also because somewhere deep inside you, 
you were very sure it will be the last time you see his teeth, the thing you love the most about loving the whole of him ..

A prisoner will do his best to never come back to prison, 
He will fight, kick and scream his way back to freedom again ..
Same as the effort the fish will do to stay in the lake. 
The prisoner will never dive deep in the prison water no matter how the fish wanted him to.

And tomorrow annoys you too ... 
Tomorrows without his existence makes you hate new days,
New sun rays and even waking up ... 
No more running “accidentally” into each other when you know how special this place means to the other, 
No more heart jumping and blood pumping every time you see his car (or a similar one) and no more happy surprises for you ...

The land is empty for you now my lioness to rule, only you and the vague shadows of him around... !!!

But is that’s it? Is that’s only what keeps you down, 
While having everything in the palm of your hand?
Him leaving? 
You never cared or showed an effort... 
You didn’t even blink when you ditched him away... 
Of course he didn’t like the attention you were giving to others while he’s pleading for yours ... 
And she did! 
She helped him through! 
She was there when you weren’t...
Or maybe she was there the same time you were too ?? 
That’s not bothering you isn't it? 
I can’t tell why you’re so calm about it, 
Murmuring things about fate! 

You used to believe he’s your fate, 
2 years ago, when nothing about him was accepted for you,
His glassy gazes, his cigarettes and his social circles .. 
But you still accepted the whole of him .. 
Then why you didn’t track him down ... ??
This place, here, will never have his existence .. and you will never ask for it ..  !!

Then why isolating yourself now? 
Who are these new people you let in? 
And why you kicked the rest out? 
Why giving up now? 
Why shaking and trembling? 
I hate you this way and they hate you more … 

Let them be jealous, If they want,
They can never have half of what you worked for, tirelessly, endlessly... 
They will never reach here, 
So accept your fears and go along with them .. 
Just go with it, go for it ... !!

Remember, life is short, 
Dreams are time limited... 
And your dreams are even more limited... 
The change must begin now... 
By you, only you, stronger and more independent you... 
Throw away your walking sticks and crawl, jump and fly .. !!

Always fight ... as a Lioness !!


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