The ... PrinCesS ... Of ... ForesTs ... !!!

Every Memory iS a SiGn ..... ThaT DefeniTly Once U Were Mine ... I'll Carry U iN My HearT and HolD U iN My MinD, Where U Can Be SaFe ... AwaY From PeoPle's OpiniOns, and WhaT's WronG and WhaT's RiGhT, AwaY From The No0ns Sun RaYs, and The ColD Of The NiGhT, AwaY From ChilDreN's FinGer PrinTs, and PeoPle eYes SiGhT ........ !!!!!!!!

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Between Me & Myself (2)

The sad violin plays my favorite heart break ..
Bringing old memories of unfinished smiles ..
Memories that I cannot take ..
Back to that fatal journey ..
To his deep eyes ..
And I remember his paintings of happiness ..
I know my words are not on his mind ..
I'm not his favorite kind ..

Between Me & Myself ..



I knew I will never change ..
But I wanted him to stay ..
I knew that my loneliness surroundings scared him ..
I was the one who created that space between us ..
Asking him to keep it ..
But,
Between Me and Myself ..
I was hoping that he break it ..
Setting my heart free ..
Instead he enlarged it ..
Locking me in even more !!

I've always wished if he could see the old me ..
Wondering if she will get his attention ..
Just a desperate try ..
But,
Between Me and Myself,
I'm relieved that he didn't ..
Accepting his rejection to the real me would be harder,
Than it is to another trial !!

I've always hated to sit by the phone waiting ..
And it never rang ..
I've always hated to say goodbye to those going to the Gulf,
Knowing deep inside that they will never return ..
Never will they come back ..
To me at least .. !!
I've always hated to express my feelings ..
Or to have any kind of intimate relations with others ..
But,
Between Me and Myself,
I've done all of these for him ..
Hoping that he is different ..
And that he deserves .. !!

Between Me and Myself,
I've walked a thousand miles of dreams ..
With him ..
And took my way back alone ..





Between Me & Myself (1)


I've always loved dark clouds ..
Cold stormy weathers ..
And empty towns ..
But,
Between Me and Myself,
You made me curious about rainbows ..
And how it feels like to be in a summer festival ..
Or wear colorful hopes over my soul .. !!


I've always been a silent person ..
Found company in myself .. 
And enjoyed being alone ..
Loneliness makes your tears taste saltier ..
And your sins seem deadly ..
But,
Between Me and Myself,
I started to find company in you ..
Like I'm alone .. 
But better alone ..
Like I'm having a discussion with a better me
And I enjoyed the "Better me" talks .. !!

I've always been impatient ..
But you turned me to a waiter ..
I've always been a day dreamer ..
And you made me wake up ..
To turn my day to dreams ..
But,
Between me and myself,
You were my only dream,
That actually came true ,, .. !!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Ms. Wrong VS Ms. Right

Everyone was wondering,
How can 2 people with the same blood,
Same flesh,
Living in the same house,
2 who never ever separate,
How can they be so much different,
So much opposite ?!

How can we always be together,
When she is Ms. Wrong
And as far as they think,
I'm Ms. Right ?

They always asked me to talk her out of troubles,
To guide her way,
To tell her make me your role model,
And least they knew,
She was the one I used to look up to !

I was so astonished by her boldness, 
She always break rules,
Break windows,
Break hearts,
Break promises,
But,
She always get what she wants, 
Eventually !

She knew how to deal with everything,
With everyone,
I always envied her luck,
Always she knows how to get herself out of trouble,
And gets me out of it too,
Yeah believe,
Mrs. Wrong gets Mrs. Right out of her terrible mistakes,
Over and over again !

Who said I'm Ms. Right ?
Who said I don't do anything wrong ?
In fact, 
I don't do anything if its not wrong !

I failed every little test life gave me,
When she -of course- passed,
I fell for Mr. Wrong,
While she got many Mr. Rights,
Looking at it from my point of view,
At the end of the day,
She always sleep peacefully,
And I wet my pillow crying !

They wondered how can my strong good character affect her ?
How can she resist my white heart and pure soul ?
Only if they knew,
The strong magic is with who.
Who forms the light and creates peace,
Which one of us got to lead ! 

Thursday, March 28, 2013

With Heathcliff's Ghost !


“I have to remind myself to breathe -- almost to remind my heart to beat!”

“It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?” 

“May you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you--haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe--I know that ghosts have wandered the earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” 

“I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.” 

“I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death; and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him.” 

“You teach me now how cruel you've been - cruel and false. Why did you despise me? Why did you betray your own heart? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved me - what right had you to leave me? What right - answer me - for the poor fancy you felt for him? Because misery, and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will did it. I have no broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living will it be when you - Oh, God! would you like to lie with your soul in the grave?” 

"Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not there—not in heaven—not perished—where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer—I repeat it till my tongue stiffens—May she wake in torment!"

“If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave.” 

“My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Healthcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.”

“I'm wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it.” 

“A person who has not done one half his day's work by ten o'clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone.” 

"They DO live more in earnest, more in themselves, and less in surface, change, and frivolous external things. I could fancy a love for life here almost possible; and I was a fixed unbeliever in any love of a year's standing."

"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."




Tested For Love!

Wish if I said no.

I shouldn't have accepted the deal.
I shouldn't have agreed on being tested!

Tested for love ?
Tested For what ?
For being the one ?
For being the one who deserves to replace the yet irreplaceables ? 
The one who accepts any condition just to be with him ?
Him .. ?? Who is HE ???
I know,
He is the one testing me !!

Why I'm so helpless to say no ??
How will I know if I'm doing well,
Or if I'm already getting an 'F' ?
I don't really want to pass his test.
I should have declined,
I should have said no,
NO, I DON'T LIKE TO BE TESTED!
Or do I ?
I don't know !!!

Love is a test itself,
Love is the thing that determines if we pass it or not,
If we should go on or not,
And so far, 
His stupid test,
Killed my baby love,
It wasn't even a LOVE,
Was it ??
It just struck me once,
And I'm praying it don't strike twice.

A stupid space he asked for,
Before anything,
Before getting deep,
He needed a space to not be committed,
And we just get to know each other,
WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

Seriously ?
So I don't get to call him whenever I want ..
I don't get to say I miss him when I do ?
He doesn't have to be there when I need him ..
Nothing can make him answer my "Where were you" question ..
I don't even get to be jealous ..
Is this what he really wants me to be ?
Someone who is there for him when he is free,
When he is lonely ?
Someone unbroken ?
Someone strong ?
Someone feeling-less ?
Someone like me ?

Was it something to motivate me to win him ?
To show my interest ?
Was he scared of my rejection ?
How come ?
I already accepted his test,
His selfish test,
That I'm no longer willing to pass!

  

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

That Moment



That painful moment in life,
When you see them walking out of your door,
Forever,
And it kill you,
When you realize,
You still need them to stay,
You always wanted them close ..
Closer ..
And when they left,
They took a part of you …!!
You know it’s your fault ..
You took them for granted ..
Whenever you needed them ..
They were here,
And when you found something better,
They immediately vanish from your memory ..
You enjoyed giving them fake hopes,
Until the day they broke their chains ..
And left you standing there ..
Alone !!
That scary moment in life,
When you see them walking out of your door,
Forever,
And it kill you,
When you realize,
They were everything you had..
And you worth nothing without them… !!
Were you trying to take your revenge,
From others,
Were you scared to surrender your soul,
To people who may step over it,
And leave you ..
Again ??
Were you afraid of being attached ..
To the wrong people,
To believe their promises,
And then wake up,
To find its all lies ??
Or you were just so terrified,
To admit the fact that he is gone ..
And you have to move on ..
You have to let other people in his place ..
And give them the heart he used to own .. ??
That weak moment in life,
When you see them walking out of your door,
Forever,
And it kill you,
When you realize,
That although you want to stop them,
You can’t,
Because you are a coward,
You already chose,
You preferred his dark memory,
Than their lightening smile ..
You decided to stay buried in your tears,
For someone who will never be back,
Someone who doesn't even know ..
And you let your weakness, overpower your heart .. !

That brave moment in life,
When you see them walking out of your door,
Forever,
And it kill you,
When you realize,
You shouldn't have let them go,
But you stand there proudly,
Waving to them goodbye … !!!

Friday, March 22, 2013

مع التيار‏

لم أكن أحبه ..

لم يلمس أحاسيسى بأى درجة من درجات العشق ..

رغم انه كان يعنى لى الكثير ..

أكثر مما لا يتعدى حدود الأخوة .. أو الصداقة .. أو كلاهما ..

و لكنه .. لشئ يعلمه ربى ..

و جزء صغير من قلبى ..

لم يفارق خيالى.


 

دائماً كان طيفه حولى ..

و عيناه الواسعتان جزءاً رئيسياً من احلامى ..

و صوته كان رفيق يقظتى و منامى ..


 

و لكنى، كنت دفينة مع الزمن ..

مسحوقة وسط الزحام ..

و بالرغم من فضولى،

إلا أنني لم أستطع ...

لم أستطع السؤال.


 

كم وددت لو أعرف لماذا ؟

لماذا هو ؟

و من خلفي يدفعني نحو الجدار ؟؟؟


 

و إنجرفت مع التيار ..!!!

أجل، قاومت الغرق ..

و نجوت ..

و عبرت السبع بحار ..

و لكن ،،

فى وسط عجقتى نسيت ..

نسيته بين الأمواج ، يجرفه التيار ..!!

I see !

Everytime I close my eyes,
I see us ...

I see how we are supposed to be ..
I see us in every bad end ..
In every sad romantic scene ..
Every death .. tragedy and every blood drop,
Represent how we will be .. !!

I see your face in every unfinished story ..
In every child burning scream ..

I see your face in every street boy,
running alone in the dark,
lost in his unknown world ..

I see me begging for mercy,
Mercy upon your soul ..

I see them stepping over our unborned child ..
Over our tears and hopes..

I see us running freely,
In the middle of nowhere ..
I see our shaded happiness,
breaking through the storm ..
I can see our battle awaits,
and we are always ready for more.

I see your heart broken on the road,
and I talk you out of your soul ..

I see us in the infinite ..
running towards no goal ..

I still see us everytime I close my eyes,
Everytime we fall.