A Page From My Dairy...!!!!!

19.8.2009
Wednesday__ 1:00 am

Well..2 dayz passed me by ,, 2 full confusin dayz...just full of pain ,, in the heart n even in the womb...and believe me ,, the heart ones are greater..Ooch !!
Nah, It's not like what you think..well, maybe it is, I dunno what you been thinkin bout..!!
And it's him..Yeah..I know I 've been just sayin all these great words bout him 2 dayz ago , like he's got a chance and am goin to stay...But nah nah nah...I've got this new friend from facebook and he really helped me through..he told me all the dirty secrets of their men kind...and the ways they use to cover n cheat on us..I mean he maybe cheated on his kind by tellin me that , but he DEF helped me alot..!!
I dunno.. But it's real..I took my final decision "I'M LEAVING HIM"..Yeah , but I'll do it silently , just gonna disapear..cause I know unless I did it this way he'll find a way to talk me to stay..and he's so much good in convincin..But I wont stay with someone who disrespect me and foolin me !!!
I'm plannin to send him a message laterz wishin him a good luck tomorrow , as it's his sub results..but wont do anythin that shows I care..I can't just call him and say "I'm breakin up with you"..Cause I know his beggin and explanation 'll break my heart and melt it over and over again..I'll be the one who break it up so he doesn't has to make excuses..I really wish him good luck tomorrow and forever..and you know what , if he failed tomorrow it's me the reason why , he was doin great before me , and amma let him go fix him self and go back to his great normal life that full of studyin..!!
I swear I'm not doin this and leavin this way just because I want to, like the other times..I really don't want to go..But I'be to..I don't want him to come one day and just say it's over..I don't wanna be a broken hearted girl as much as I don't wanna leave !!!
I gave this guy my EVERYTHIN'...but seems that my all wasn't good enough for him..and you gonna ask me "How did you know" ??..I didn't , and I still don't know... Cause it's impossible to know the truth from a cheater , from a lair , from a 2 faced man !!!
ANYWAY...I'm just writtin' this now to let you know that this decision has taken place in reality..and though my hearts aches for him..But I know we'll get over that by time..Me and my heart 'll be just fine..knowin that if this destiny meant to be.. then it'll be , and if what he said was true , then no matter what happens..he'll make us true..he'll come back, to get me back..and thats all the hope I need at the moment..just givin my self a little of hope and waitin..that he'll do the right thing..the right way ..!!