Throughout A Life

Dedicated to you .. One last time !

Then, I backed up a little .. ! Before I take my first step in .. Before I slowly tilt the door knob open .. Before I even take a quick glance inside .. I just decided to peacefully back up! I know I promised you to give it a try .. I promised you to see how it feels like to be there .. How it feels like to inhale the fragrance of happiness .. And exhale the poisoning remaining of previous disappointments .. I know we had a deal .. And I cowardly broke it! I could feel your teary gaze on my back .. I could barely hear your fading voice call my name , asking me to wait .. I could sense your hands reaching out to grasp my empty bags .. and what can someone approaching death pack from life ?? I preferred to walk away silently .. avoiding any explanation .. And how can I explain something I barely knew ?? And I left .. Like all the times .. Like I used to .. When things aren't going my way .. ...

كنت أعتقد أننا لايمكنْ أن نكتب عَن حَياتنا إلا عندما نشفى منها .. عندما يمكنْ أن نلمس جراحنا القديمة بقلم دون أن نتألـمْ مرة أخرى .. عندما نقدر على النَظر خلفنا دون حنين , دون جنونْ , ودون حقد أيضاً .. أيمكنْ هَذا حقاً .. ! نحنُ لانشفى من ذاكرتنا .. ولهذا نحن نكتب.. ولهذا نحن نرسم ولهذا يموت بعضنا أيضاً أحلام مستغنامى