Throughout A Life

The sad violin plays my favorite heart break .. Bringing old memories of unfinished smiles .. Memories that I cannot take .. Back to that fatal journey .. To his deep eyes .. And I remember his paintings of happiness .. I know my words are not on his mind .. I'm not his favorite kind .. Between Me & Myself .. I knew I will never change .. But I wanted him to stay .. I knew that my loneliness surroundings scared him .. I was the one who created that space between us .. Asking him to keep it .. But, Between Me and Myself .. I was hoping that he break it .. Setting my heart free .. Instead he enlarged it .. Locking me in even more !! I've always wished if he could see the old me .. Wondering if she will get his attention .. Just a desperate try .. But, Between Me and Myself, I'm relieved that he didn't .. Accepting his rejection to the real me would be harder, Than it is to another tria...

I've always loved dark clouds .. Cold stormy weathers .. And empty towns .. But, Between Me and Myself, You made me curious about rainbows .. And how it feels like to be in a summer festival .. Or wear colorful hopes over my soul .. !! I've always been a silent person .. Found company in myself ..  And enjoyed being alone .. Loneliness makes your tears taste saltier .. And your sins seem deadly .. But, Between Me and Myself, I started to find company in you .. Like I'm alone ..  But better alone .. Like I'm having a discussion with a better me And I enjoyed the "Better me" talks .. !! I've always been impatient .. But you turned me to a waiter .. I've always been a day dreamer .. And you made me wake up .. To turn my day to dreams .. But, Between me and myself, You were my only dream, That actually came true ,, .. !!

Everyone was wondering, How can 2 people with the same blood, Same flesh, Living in the same house, 2 who never ever separate, How can they be so much different, So much opposite ?! How can we always be together, When she is Ms. Wrong And as far as they think, I'm Ms. Right ? They always asked me to talk her out of troubles, To guide her way, To tell her make me your role model, And least they knew, She was the one I used to look up to ! I was so astonished by her boldness,  She always break rules, Break windows, Break hearts, Break promises, But, She always get what she wants,  Eventually ! She knew how to deal with everything, With everyone, I always envied her luck, Always she knows how to get herself out of trouble, And gets me out of it too, Yeah believe, Mrs. Wrong gets Mrs. Right out of her terrible mistakes, Over and over again ! Who said I'm Ms. Right ? Who said I don't do anything wron...

“I have to remind myself to breathe -- almost to remind my heart to beat!” “It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,' he answered. 'Kiss me again; and don’t let me see your eyes! I forgive what you have done to me. I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?”  “May you not rest as long as I am living. You said I killed you--haunt me then. The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe--I know that ghosts have wandered the earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!”   “I cannot express it; but surely you and everybody have a notion that there is or should be an existence of yours beyond you. What were the use of my creation, if I were entirely contained here? My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning...

Wish if I said no. I shouldn't have accepted the deal. I shouldn't have agreed on being tested! Tested for love ? Tested For what ? For being the one ? For being the one who deserves to replace the yet irreplaceables ?  The one who accepts any condition just to be with him ? Him .. ?? Who is HE ??? I know, He is the one testing me !! Why I'm so helpless to say no ?? How will I know if I'm doing well, Or if I'm already getting an 'F' ? I don't really want to pass his test. I should have declined, I should have said no, NO, I DON'T LIKE TO BE TESTED! Or do I ? I don't know !!! Love is a test itself, Love is the thing that determines if we pass it or not, If we should go on or not, And so far,  His stupid test, Killed my baby love, It wasn't even a LOVE, Was it ?? It just struck me once, And I'm praying it don't strike twice. A stupid space he asked for, Before anything, Before getting deep, He n...

That painful moment in life, When you see them walking out of your door, Forever, And it kill you, When you realize, You still need them to stay, You always wanted them close .. Closer .. And when they left, They took a part of you …!! You know it’s your fault .. You took them for granted .. Whenever you needed them .. They were here, And when you found something better, They immediately vanish from your memory .. You enjoyed giving them fake hopes, Until the day they broke their chains .. And left you standing there .. Alone !! That scary moment in life, When you see them walking out of your door, Forever, And it kill you, When you realize, They were everything you had.. And you worth nothing without them… !! Were you trying to take your revenge, From others, Were you scared to surrender your soul, To people who may step over it, And leave you .. Again ?? Were you afraid of being attached .. To the wrong people,...

لم أكن أحبه .. لم يلمس أحاسيسى بأى درجة من درجات العشق .. رغم انه كان يعنى لى الكثير .. أكثر مما لا يتعدى حدود الأخوة .. أو الصداقة .. أو كلاهما .. و لكنه .. لشئ يعلمه ربى .. و جزء صغير من قلبى .. لم يفارق خيالى.   دائماً كان طيفه حولى .. و عيناه الواسعتان جزءاً رئيسياً من احلامى .. و صوته كان رفيق يقظتى و منامى ..   و لكنى، كنت دفينة مع الزمن .. مسحوقة وسط الزحام .. و بالرغم من فضولى، إلا أنني لم أستطع ... لم أستطع السؤال.   كم وددت لو أعرف لماذا ؟ لماذا هو ؟ و من خلفي يدفعني نحو الجدار ؟؟؟   و إنجرفت مع التيار ..!!! أجل، قاومت الغرق .. و نجوت .. و عبرت السبع بحار .. و لكن ،، فى وسط عجقتى نسيت .. نسيته بين الأمواج ، يجرفه التيار ..!!

Everytime I close my eyes, I see us ... I see how we are supposed to be .. I see us in every bad end .. In every sad romantic scene .. Every death .. tragedy and every blood drop, Represent how we will be .. !! I see your face in every unfinished story .. In every child burning scream .. I see your face in every street boy, running alone in the dark, lost in his unknown world .. I see me begging for mercy, Mercy upon your soul .. I see them stepping over our unborned child .. Over our tears and hopes.. I see us running freely, In the middle of nowhere .. I see our shaded happiness, breaking through the storm .. I can see our battle awaits, and we are always ready for more. I see your heart broken on the road, and I talk you out of your soul .. I see us in the infinite .. running towards no goal .. I still see us everytime I close my eyes, Everytime we fall.